Thursday, July 3, 2014
I hope that you're really happy with the decision you made. Maybe then I'll feel a little happier. When bad things happen no matter how great you were in the past, all those memories will be left behind. Probably a human way of coping with things, making it seem easier to move on. 2 years of my life just flew past without really thinking about it. Those days when we first got together, everything was rough and uncertain. I remember when I first heard about you, I didn't expect that one day you would mean so much to me. Those days I spent waiting my night away just to see you first thing in the morning. I tell myself everyday that it is time to move on, honestly I tried, but I'm not as strong as you think. Everything I do, everywhere I go, brings back memories from those happy days. I love you yet I hate you. I hate you for being so heartless, I hate you for saying that you love me and yet willing to let me endure all this pain alone.. But I can't blame you for doing the things that you do because that is probably what I did to you when you were around. Sometimes I just have the urge to ask you this question, what did the guy did for you which I didn't do. For the past 2 years I gave my everything to you, but you'll never be able to see it now because all you see is the trust lost. I never really poured out my feelings before, maybe it's just me. Maybe even if I poured them out no one would really understand, instead I use shorter replies hoping that the same meaning gets to the other side but I guess it didn't. Now I just wish that time to numb the pain away. Till then, I can never take my mask away.
if you'll ever understand.